Monday, November 28, 2005

The Sleep Post

I'm sure some of you have wondered why my blog is titled the way it is when I have never written a post about sleep. Well, here it is: the BIG sleep post.

I have had an addiction to sleeping for as long as I can remember. I've always been able to sleep in every chance I get. Once, I actually slept until 5 p.m. (having gone to bed around 11 p.m. the night before). For some reason, I'm always tired. I am tired even when I get a good night's rest. And I am also tired when I get too little sleep. My eyes constantly feel like closing, and sometimes it almost hurts to stay awake.

I've never been able to figure out why I'm like this. I have considered that there may actually be something wrong with me. You see, I don't just sleep in my bed. I can sleep everywhere I go. In high school, I would fall asleep sitting up in class. This continued in to college, and got even worse. I'd fall asleep sitting in the front row. Nothing deterred me. The teacher could be next to me and I'd have no shame. This is because I don't think I could control the sleeping, which is why there may be more to this than just "being tired" or even being lazy.

My roommate in college, S, can attest to all of this. She was there on the days where I'd decide to skip my three morning classes and sleep until 2 p.m. It was as if nothing was important enough to pull me from the bed. Or, I'd be in my boyfriend's dorm room, sleeping the day away as he and his roommate came and went. They'd go to class, bring me back lunch, have people over...all while I was up in his loft sleeping. It's amazing that I managed to get the good grades I did. Now, I didn't act like this all through college. After sophomore year, I wised up and only took afternoon classes if I could...and I made sure never to skip a class, even for sleep. There may have been a few times in class where I dozed off, but for the most part I was back on track.

This takes us to the present. I've never liked waking up early (meaning before 10 a.m.), so I just get to work late. I've worked it out so I can arrive at work at 9:30 a.m., which is great. But still, even waking up at 7:30 is too early for me. I know that most people are up at 6 with no problem, but I just can't seem to do it. And lately, I just haven't been sleeping well at all. Last night, it took me over an hour to fall asleep. I was just lying there in some limbo-like state, thinking and thinking, but not sleeping. Once I did doze off, I fell into my dreams (which I can't remember now). But when I woke up this morning, I actually felt pretty good. On less sleep than usual. So, maybe I have been getting too much sleep all my life.

There's one more problem. My dreams. Or nightmares, as they often are. I always dream. I would say I have dreams about 90 percent of the times I'm sleeping. And, for quite a long time, most of these were nightmares. We're not talkin' your normal nightmare either, these things scared me so bad that it would take me a minute to understand they didn't actually happen when I woke up.

Usually, I'm being chased. Someone is after me and they are going to hurt me. Or my house or my room is under siege. I've been shot in my dreams, I've been kidnapped, and I've been running from wild animals. I've really almost died in my dreams too. But of course, I always wake up right before that happens. They say that if you die in your dream, then you're really dead. Hopefully, that's an urban legend. I think I dream in nightmares because of stress, of worry, of fear. I mean, I worry constantly when I'm awake, so I guess it makes sense that these feelings carry over in to sleep.

Anyway, as you can conclude, sleep has always been a problem for me, and it continues to be. My lack of sleep seems to conincide with my dreaming. In fact, I almost sleep worse when I have those vivid dreams. That doesn't make sense at all, since the dreams mean I'm in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is the deep sleep that's supposed to make you less tired in the morning.

But it's when I have these dreams that I get the least sleep. It's when I wake up knowing exactly what I dreamt about that I feel tired and groggy. But when I don't remember my dreams, when I've only touched the surface of sleep, that's when I feel most refreshed. I know, it completely contradicts the scientific explanation. What can I say, I'm an enigma.

Sweet dreams.

6 Comments:

At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Mathieu said...

It makes sense in a way. People always dream, whether you remember it or not. But when you do remember, when it's so vivid and so intense you can't stop thinking about it...well, that's just a bloody exhausting dream, isn't it? Quite normal you have more trouble getting up then. :)
As for dying in dreams, it is an urban legend. For some reason, there've been months where I had loads of dreams in which I died, without waking up right before it happened. I remember the feeling very well. It's the tickle you get when you walk into a classroom, see the teacher collecting tasks and realizing you completely forgot about it, and there's no way to get it in time. The feeling you get when you're completely fucked, basically. Only 20 times more intense, like it's mixed with the adrenaline of a wild rollercoaster ride.
But there's nothing wrong with sleeping. I loooove to sleep. In fact, I'm going to sleep right now!

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Sleepy Girl said...

You're right, Matt, about the dreams being bloody exhausting. That does make sense. And I am glad to know that dying in a dream doesn't make you actually dead. Maybe now I won't be as scared to have my nightmares. Thanks for the insight!

Oh, and PS: I am damn jealous that you get to sleep right now. I'm still at work and then I have class...won't be home until 11 pm!

 
At 9:57 AM, Anonymous tom said...

Hey -- I wandered in from DC Blogs. Just wanted to sound a boring medical note: if you're constantly fatigued and require lots of sleep, you might want to talk to a doctor. Particularly if you snore. Sleep apnea can drastically reduce the quality of your sleep, and is a health risk. Worth looking into, anyway.

But then, it could just be a phase. In my teens and early twenties I had no problem logging 12 or 14 hours per night. Now, at the ripe old age of 25, I get by pretty well on 8 hours or so.

 
At 2:00 AM, Blogger Kim said...

Hi there, It never ceases to amaze me of the quality of blogs that can be found. Yours is very interesting indeed!

I have a sheepskin
site. It's mostly about sheepskin
related stuff.

Come see us if you get time :-)

 
At 6:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my name is sarah kern, i also have a sleep problem. i don't have sleep apnea, fibro, narcolepsy or any of that stuff. i have as long as i remember needed an extra amount of sleep i sleep so much that i may have only 5 quality hours of sleep a day. i am a smart person but just don't have the energy to complete hardly anything. i lack friends because i just don't have the energy to deal with them. i also feel MORE REFRESHED after very little sleep. im thinking about taking xyrem for too much rem sleep. i dream everytime i sleep. not really scary dreams but just weird dreams. i am very tired upon awakening and it has led to me thinking i have an addiction to sleep also. but something inside me tells me there is something else wrong. i am very much so a procrastinator. i need to contact more people like me and no one seems to understand they think im lazy or depressed. i have no signs of depression only that it may be an affect of sleeping so much cause i cant get the stuff i need to get done. ya know basic stuff...paying bills, laundry, cleaning, time with friends and bf. my boyfriend aaron is the only one sometimes that actually believes me that i want to change he sees me dealing with a huge medical issue that just has not been cracked yet. i am 23, from MN. please contact me sarah_bellum_23@yahoo.com **sarah***

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger dreamy said...

You sound so much like me, except that i dun really feel sleepy all the time, but i do feel more tired compared to other people. And I can sleep almost everywhere too, and yes I also remeber my dreams most of the time not always scary though juz strange and somewhat related to the things i did for the past few days. I thought when i remember dreams i will feel more tired, but sometimes even when i dun remember, i am still tired. I have read that meditation helps.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

Enter your email address below to subscribe to A Sleepy Girl's Thoughts on Life!


powered by Bloglet