A Sleepy Girl's Thoughts on Life

The girl in the auto parts store

I finally did it. I went to the auto parts store by myself.

Yes, in the past I've always been fortunate enough to have my boyfriend or my dad with me. But this time, I decided--and was also pretty much forced--to brave it alone. It was the same scene as usual...a bunch of questionable-looking males congregating at the counter and not a woman in sight. I walked in and immediately relegated myself to the aisles so no one would notice me. My mark? New wiper blades.

Unfortunately, the wipers were not to be found in the aisles. I walked up and down aimlessly until the noisy crowd at the register dissipated a little. I emerged and timidly approached the more harmless-looking of the two male cashiers (in this case, the younger one). He was kind enough to point me in the right direction and look up what size I would need. I was almost home-free.

But as I turned to walk toward the wiper display, a tall guy in a blue shirt blocked my path.

"Hi," he said very confidently.

"Hi," I replied in an almost inaudible voice. I slid past him, but not before he could get in another sentence. "How are you?" he said.

"Fine, how are you?," I said back, louder this time.

"I'm greaaaat," he said in a far too enthusiastic voice, and with that he looked me up and down, almost nodding in approval.

Seriously, I don't know if I've ever felt so looked at before. I mean he did it in such an obvious way. At this point, my back was turned to him a little, and I just wanted to cover my ass with a sheet and get the hell out of there.

But I still needed my wipers. So I ignored him completely until I found them and then went to pay. He was still hanging around creepily and I avoided eye contact. At one point he made a joke about lubricant or some other disgusting thing, and he looked over at me, expecting me to laugh uproariously I guess. I cracked a very small smile and then high-tailed it out the door.

So, what did we learn from this? Absolutely nothing. It confirmed why I don't like going to the auto parts store by myself. However, I did notice one thing. Despite the fact that the leering guy made me uncomfortable and annoyed me, I think I was sort of flattered. I know that's gross, but I bet that if I went in to the auto parts store and no one had paid attention to me, I may just have been insulted.

It's an interesting paradox, really. As a woman, I loathe it when men degrade me in this way, but I look to men for approval, too. And here I thought I was some sort of feminist. But really, I'm just human.

posted by Sleepy Girl @ 10:22 AM