A Sleepy Girl's Thoughts on Life

The single state of mind

Lately I've found myself searching. Searching...for someone. You see, this is the first time in basically four years that I haven't had a boyfriend. I'm not used to this lonliness. I'm used to always having someone there to just chill with or talk with, someone to lean on in bad times and smile with in good times. Now that I don't have this anymore, I yearn for it pretty much all the time. I'm just waiting to meet someone that can fill that void.

So one thing I've started doing is looking on myspace.com. I know, it's sad...and I don't really intend to meet my soul mate via the Internet, but it can't hurt to look. And it makes me feel better to look. I see that there are lots of single guys out there, and a lot of them even sound decent in their profiles and look cute in their pictures. But the biggest thing I've noticed while looking at all these people is my new judging scale for potential significant others, or even just potential dates.

I'm become incredibly picky.

I figure that there's no point in starting a romantic relationship with someone who has no long-term potential. I certainly don't want to go through another painful break-up. So this next guy is gonna have to be pretty perfect. How do I know if he's "perfect"? Well, I have this automatic list of deal-breakers in my head that jumps out at me whenever I see a less-than-perfect quality. Here are just a few...

1. Bad grammar: He must have writing skills. If he spells simple words wrong or doesn't know where to place a comma (or God forbid, a period), he's out.

2. NASCAR/four-wheeling/etc: I'm not into these things, and I don't want to have to deal with someone who is.

3. Football fanatic: Same as above.

4. Bad teeth: Ugh, I just can't stomach them. I need clean, pearly, straight white teeth.

5. Too religious: If he appears to put too much emphasis on religion, that's it for me. I don't want some heathen, but I'm not dealing with this religion issue again. I'd really just like someone similar to me (not religious, but not evil either).

6. No college: Sorry, I don't mean to be snobby, but I sort of am in this way. You need to be educated.

7. Bartender: You're a drinker and/or like spending time in a bar...definitely not my type.

8. Partier: If you refer to yourself in this way, or put down "drinking" as one of your interests, then I lose respect for you. This is not a legitimate description of your character, and if you think it is, then you're not my type.

9. Too political: I don't want to have to argue with you over politics, partially because I don't like politics, but mostly because I don't understand them.

10. Bad background graphics: If you've got those annoying templates on your profile that make it almost impossible for me to read about you, then you're (a) stupid or (b) completely lacking in any design sense whatsoever. Either way, no soup for you.

11. Use of the word "peeps" or other obnoxious slang: Sorry, I need someone sophisticated who can carry an actual conversation without annoying me.

12. Pictures with women hanging all over you: You're trying too hard to look cool. Stop it. This goes double for including too many pictures of yourself drunk.

13. References to porn/sexual degradation of women: You're my worst enemy.

14. Smoker: No and never. Unless I can make you quit.

15. Using a really stupid phrase as your myspace headline: Here's a perfect and very real example: "hello baby girls was up wanna talk write me back." Not only is it devoid of punctuation and proper sentence structure, but it includes misspellings, slang AND degradation. Wow. I think this guy might just be the opposite of everything I stand for.

Now, I know I sound like a total shrew, but I assure you that's not true. I like to have fun, but I'm looking for a real guy--someone I can respect and admire and who does the same for me. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that most of the men in the world don't hold up to these standards.

However, there are a few things that immediately catch my interest. Here are some of my deal-makers:

1. Guitar player: I will automatically overlook some, if not all, of your other flaws.

2. Graduate school: You're smart enough to seek higher education, so that's a good sign.

3. Good dresser: If you're dressed nicely in most of your pictures, with very few instances of the dirty baseball cap, then I'll like you more.

4. Nice blue eyes and blonde hair: You're automatically cute.

5. Good body: Sorry, I know it's superficial, but I want you to be cut. And if you post a picture showing this, then more power to you.

6. Well-written profile: Your profile, to me, is sort of like a persuasive essay. If you write well, with good sentence structure, economical use of language, creative word choice, and a touch of humor, then you pass. If you don't know what I mean, then clearly you fail.

7. Any reference to Jeeps: I love Jeeps and always will. If you share this love, or own one, then you've got my attention.

8. Good height: The more inches you are above me, the better you are in my book.

9. Animal lover: I love animals, and I need to share that with someone.

10: Good cook: You like to cook? Well I like to eat!

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure there's more. Just thought I'd give you a glimpse into my current state of mind.

posted by Sleepy Girl @ 1:48 PM