The Click
You spend two hours together and the conversation flows along with its own force. You laugh at his dumb jokes. He laughs at yours.It's simply effortless.
Then, you spend more time together, and the conversation's still flowing. Ten hours go by, and you're still having fun.
No awkward pauses, just comfortable silence between topics. It feels good.
You just...click.
We've all been there, right? Conversely, we've all been in the opposite situation: the not-click.
He's a great guy. He's kind, gentlemanly, sweet.
But you've got nothing to talk about.
It's a strain just to get a conversation going. The silences are uncomfortable. You're trying so hard to feel that click, but it's just not there.
I think I'm starting to realize that you can't create chemistry. And moreover, it shouldn't have to be created. It should just occur. But how often does this really happen?
I've had okay chemistry a few times, but I've only experienced great chemistry once. With my most recent ex. Despite any underlying problems we had, that chemistry kept us going for four or so years.
And I'm not really sure why it even existed. Was it mutual passions? We both liked buying DVDs, spending time on the boat, and our pet birds. Maybe that was it, but we didn't know we had any of these things in common at the very beginning. And the chemistry was already there.
Was it similar personalities? He was outgoing and talkative, I was quiet. Probably not.
I guess chemistry is just a combination of everything. For one reason or another, all the little things just come together in a perfect fit.
We both liked cuddling. We both hated seafood.
He could do all the talking. But he also was a great listener.
He'd watch Laguna Beach with me. I'd watch "Pimp My Ride" with him.
He got me out of the house. I got him to relax once in a while.
He was caring. I loved being taken care of.
We dressed like bums on weekends. We liked each other better that way.
I had some chemistry with DishonestBF, too. It was just so easy to be with him.
We used to sit around making ferret noises at each other--I think it was the ferret in Budweiser commercials that got us started on that. Weird, yes. But also totally, hysterically awesome.
I'm still waiting around for someone to make ferret noises with. For someone who will tell me I'm beautiful when my hair is dirty and I'm wearing an old t-shirt and jeans. For someone who makes me laugh without even trying...by just being himself.
So how many not-clicks do I have to wade through to get there?
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 10:54 AM
2 Comments:
Great post.
Yes, chemistry is crucial. But many people forget that character is just as crucial. Maybe not in the short, but in the long run it determines the success or failure of a relationship. Many people overlook character as long as the partner is attractive and the chemistry is good. Big mistake.
Gary: You're so right. Character is just as important. But without chemistry, does character even matter? It's interesting how, in a good relationship at least, you can't have one without the other.
Shmulik: I hear ya. It's smart of you to realize the non-click right away. Let me know when you do find a clicker...and be patient. :-)
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