The Religion Post
I'm starting to scare myself a little.All my life, I've been without religion. I've been to church maybe a handful of times in my almost 24 years. I have indeed read the Bible, but it was for class and I didn't really buy into it.
Until now.
Last year, I started listening to Christian contemporary music. I came across it one day while changing radio stations, and it stuck. My grandmother had just died, and the lyrics gave me comfort. I cried as I listened to Natalie Grant's "Held." It was speaking to me.
Soon I realized that all the songs on that radio station meant something to me, not just because of their lyrics, but because of the beautiful and inspiring melodies. Happy music.
For months, I just figured this was a fluke. I liked the music, but I still didn't want to acknowledge that I believed the messages that went along with it. This was a big change for me. Not only have I never considered myself religious, but I've actually made a concentrated effort in the past not to have anything to do with religion.
Until now.
My ex-boyfriend always tried me to get to go to church, to at least consider having religion in my life. I always bucked because, put simply, religion meant nothing to me. Having lived without it for my entire existence, I didn't feel like I needed it.
And when my ex kept pushing me to go to church and embrace it, I think I even started to resent religion. It was pushing us apart. I felt like he was trying to change me, and I bucked.
Again, until now.
Now, my life has changed. When my dad got sick, I couldn't understand. I felt so powerless, and I began to see religion in a different light. I always used to see it as some made-up world where I didn't belong-- a world where people just used it as an excuse for everything that happened.
But now I think that maybe its purpose is very simple and much more noble than an "excuse": to give us hope. I may not believe that there is some great being up there making everything happen for a reason, but I do believe that we all need something to get us through the rough times.
And this Christian music? It gets me through. It gives me a way to understand the world around me. I realize that it doesn't matter why my dad got sick, and it doesn't matter whether or not I believe in God.
It only matters that I keep up my positive thinking, that I refrain from being angry over things I cannot control.
I still don't know if everything in the Bible actually happened. I still don't feel comfortable going to church. But for the first time in my life, I see why other people believe.
I listen to the Christian radio station in my car every day. I have a playlist on my iPod called "Inspirational music." I've got Christian song lyrics in my IM profiles.
And yeah, it scares me a little.
But it may just be one the biggest steps forward I've ever taken.
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.
Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.
~ Third Day
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 1:27 PM
3 Comments:
Religion is a funny thing (if you look at what a danish cartoon about the prohpet mohammed can cause in the middle east), but in theory an incredibly beautiful thing. To just...believe, and not needing to prove it. The support that it can give you is phenomenal. I've gone through my very own religious quest for some years, and have found peace in a simple personal belief. As much as organized religion like Christianity and Islam are wonderful things, the whole concept of an órganized religion is absurd. Religion is in fact about choosing your beliefs yourself, and not have some priest or ex-boyfriend place it on you.
I have quite a few problems with Christianity, but the way you're discovering it now is the way it's supposd to be. So enjoy :)
Where there's no hope to be found anywhere on this earth, there's hope to be found in faith in a higher being. There doesn't have to be a particularly religion, just a belief that someone out there, whether it be God or some other higher spirit, cares for you and watches over you like a shepherd watches over his sheep. That inspiration is indeed what lifts the weary and gives them hope for the future. How wonderful that you've found it!
True religion teaches a person how to love themselves and others. So it's more than just about offering hope. Unfortunately, many times people have tried to turn religion into a dogmatic,hollow shell. I have listened a lot to the music you are talking about, and I think that it's excellent. I say keep listening.
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