Doing a 180
Wow, I'm starting to realize that my blog has become way too depressing. All I do is complain and lonely this and sad that and blah blah blah. Well, I'm putting my foot down and thinking positively from now on (or at least for today). It's Friday, after all, and I can look forward to a weekend full of sleeping, eating ice cream, and hanging out with my sister. What could possibly be better than that?!Oh, wait, I know! Maybe the fact that I have plans tonight. Yes, me, having plans other than watching Jeopardy. First, I'm doing the Last Supper with the ex, which...is a little depressing. Crap, there goes my positivity (yes, I just made that word up).
Well, I am looking forward to this dinner, but I am also dreading it because it will be our last face-to-face interaction in a long time. We both know we need to wean ourselves off of depending on and being around one another. And, put simply, it sucks. We were friends to begin with, and we still feel like friends, and we'd like to continue to be friends. But life is not so easy in the land of breaking up. It's too hard right now to be good friends because we are so used to being more than friends.
In addition to the final meal, we're also doing the traditional exhanging of the belongings. You know, I have his socks and some shirts, he has my DVD, and et cetera. Now, I've never really done this before...this big break-up closure thing. So I'm not sure how I'll handle it. I'm hoping to just keep a positive attitude and not let all the symbolism of moving on get to me. Because there's no way around this. It had to happen sooner or later and I have to accept the fact that we both must move on. Sigh.
But on a more positive note, there is also a happy hour tonight for one of my good friends at work who is leaving to go back to school full-time. I really want to go to this, but I've got the Last Supper also. Oh, and they're in the same place...the mall. So maybe I can pop over to happy hour and make an appearance after the Last Supper.
But wait, my schedule continues! Later on tonight, my sister and I are going to a house party one of her roommates is throwing. Oh, and yay, I get to see my sister! I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, which really isn't that long, but I just miss her THAT much.
Okay, so that's it. My post today seems to be infused with this weird fake chipperness, doesn't it? Well, I'm trying, folks. I'm trying to be positive and be happy. Because it is really difficult to live my life when I feel so down. And why should I live like that? Feeling that way doesn't help me, it stifles me. And I'm SICK OF IT.
I'm ready to fly,
I'm ready to soar
I'm ready to leave this world behind.
I'm ready to open up the door
I'm ready to fly,
I'm ready to spread my wings across the sky
I think it's time
I'm ready to go
I'm ready to fly.
~FFH
It's all changing.
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 1:54 PM
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