On Valentine's Day
I was just flipping through my calendar when, to my utter horror, I realized that Valentine's Day (i.e., the worst holiday ever to grace the Earth) is exactly two weeks from today.This will be my first Valentine's Day without a boyfriend since 2002. This is a problem for a variety of reasons. First of all, I'm lonely, and my lonliness will be compunded infinitely by all the lovey-doveyness going on this Feb. 14th.
Secondly, I freakin' love getting flowers...I mean I LIVE for getting flowers. I pretend to be this independent feminist woman and all, but flowers are my weakness. I love being a girly girl and getting a big bouquet of roses from my boyfriend just for the hell of it. And it's always been a secret wish of mine to have someone do something really romantic...like take me to a bed and breakfast and surprise me with flower petals on the bed. I know it may not seem like much, but it has yet to happen for me.
This brings me to my third reason...I always put so much stock in this stupid holiday. Especially when I have a boyfriend, my expectations are just too high. I'm always wanting the fairy tale, and I never get it. I'm positive I won't get it this year, with no relationship or boyfriend to speak of. Back in high school when I was single, I contented myself with fantasies of some secret admirer surprising me on Valentine's Day. But again, this has yet to happen for me.
I guess I've had some good Valentine's Days, but my memories of them have more to do with disappointment than romantic evenings. Let's take a journey through the Ghosts of V-Days past:
2000: My first V-Day with a real boyfriend. I was expecting so much from my high school boyfriend that I practically told him to surprise me with roses at my house before school. He did just that, but I wasn't really surprised since...duh, I pretty much told him to do it. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of my V-Day issues.
2001: My first V-Day with my college boyfriend. It was actually one of my better V-Days. He brought me a single rose in the morning, then another in the middle of the day, and one more in the evening. He showed up dressed to the nines and led me back to his dorm room, where he cooked a nice dinner. It was a delicious and cute, low-key evening.
2002: My friend Steve was nice enough to invite my two roommates and me--all single--out to dinner. We dressed up and went out to Olive Garden or some similar place, and I think he bought us dinner. However, as I remember it, I think I also complained (in my head, of course) about how he should've brought chocolate or at least a rose for each of us.
2003: I'm back with my college boyfriend (the one from 2001). Earlier in the day, my roommate's boyfriend drops off a huge bouquet of flowers. It's gorgeous, and I can't wait to get my own. My boyfriend comes from work later with a small bouquet of roses, and proceeds to tell me that he got them from a street vendor on his way home. These roses so paled in comparison to my roommate's that I acted like a compelete brat for the next few days. I even cried.
2004: This was supposed to be a great V-Day. Still with the college bf, I decided to do something special and made reservations at a cute bed and breakfast in Rochelle, Va. I was already unhappy because I thought he (being the guy) was supposed to plan the day.
Anyway, I woke up on V-Day with no sign of flowers from K--this after I had complained for an entire year about the street vendor flowers. I threw a total tantrum and went into high hysterics. I cried on his bed and went to sleep until he brought some flowers back. Of course, after all that, they still didn't measure up.
So, after I calmed down, we drove to the countryside B and B. It was adorable, and that evening he took me out to a field and gave me these gold heart-shaped earrings, which matched a necklace he had given me years earlier. We also found this great restaurant and had an pretty expensive meal complete with wine and even fondue. I felt like the most ungrateful girlfriend ever.
2005: Last year wasn't so bad. I was with the boyfriend still, and he agreed to take me out to one of my favorite (and very expensive) restaurants, 2941. We were running a little late, but we dressed up and made it in time. Dinner was exquisite. We had a seven-course meal and I loved every bit of it. We even had a nice bottle of $90 wine, and K ended up dropping a lot of money that night. Oh, and he bought me a big bouquet of flowers in a real vase from a real store. Finally.
To sum up: I am what many people would call A HIGH-MAINTENANCE VALENTINE'S DAY BITCH. I expect far more than any guy has been willing (or creative enough) to give. While I don't expect a guy to spend much money on me, I do want something that shows that he really cares...something unique and different from the norm.
Despite the fact that I know it's just a money machine manufactured by the likes of Hallmark, Valentine's Day seems to mean something to me. I think I just want one day to be treated like a princess. Seriously, don't we all deserve that for one itty-bitty day a year?
*Postscript: After thinking about these past experiences, I realize that I should just be happy with whatever V-Day 2006 brings. I don't need the attention of a guy to make or break me. If something nice happens, I'll be grateful, and if something doesn't, I'll be satisfied, too.
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 4:03 PM
5 Comments:
I hate Valentine's Day! Guys can not win. Whatever you do has to completely blow away any expectations or else you might as well have just stayed home. Oh, and you better bet next year has to top it. Big flowers get bigger, 1 lb of chocolate becomes 5 lbs, and little cute stuffed animals become life sized pink and red fluffy messes. Its rediculous.
Girls really shouldn't define their self confidence based on a holiday that sets you up for failure and disappointment. Nobody wins on Valentine's Day. So keep your chin up, there is a Mr.Perfect and I bet he is out there looking for a girl just like you to share a romantic night at a B&B, complete with rose pedals.
BTW, can you just buy rose pedals or do you have to buy roses and de-pedal them?
I like V-Day for the same reason you do, and I have the same sentiments about my birthday. But also know that whatever my hopes and ideals are for the perfect VDay or birthday, the reality can never be quite so perfect. So I've finally learned to take the day for what it is, and enjoy the good, and not look for better.
And yes you can buy just rose petals at the florist.
It is my humble opinion women want to be treated like princesses every singly day, but in days like V-day or their birthday they just find a valid excuse for it.
Nothing wrong with that though, women áre princesses.
Thank you all for commenting...all valid points.
Andrew: Like Nicole said, rose petals are rose petals. All that matters is their presence, not how you procured them.
Nicole: Ugh, I totally forgot that my birthday is coming up too (March), and like you, I always have my high hopes dashed.
Matt: You're one smart guy!
I buy myself flowers, at least once a week.
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