Another Day, Another Dare
That's how it always goes.
Today at work, my co-workers and I somehow got into a discussion about hazing rituals, and out of that came the mention of the infamous "milk bet."
I hadn't heard of this before, but urban legend states that it is nearly impossible to drink a gallon of whole milk in an hour without throwing up during the ordeal or for at least 15 minutes afterward.
Being the crazy daredevil that I am, I immediately scoffed.
"What's so hard about that?" I said. "I love milk, especially whole milk!"
My co-workers snatched the opportunity up.
"We'll pay anything you want just to see you do that at work tomorrow."
I laughed. This dare had my name written all over it. "You bring me the gallon, and I'll drink it," I said confidently.
Shortly afterward, I went back to my desk to research the topic. What I found was quite alarming.
Apparently, this has been tried hundreds and hundreds of times, usually by big burly guys who have a much better chance than I would. And in almost all of these cases, the brave souls have failed. And not only failed, but failed miserably in a mess of their own milk-covered vomit. Projectile vomit.
People have tried everything to make this work. Chugging it. Taking it slow and splitting it up into increments. Eating bread beforehand. Doing it on an empty stomach. Training by drinking gallons of liquid each day for weeks on end.
When I read one person's account titled "The Day Jesus Stole My Stomach Lining and Beat Me to Death With It," I knew I had a problem.
Plus, people have stated that this exercise has caused them to hate milk forever. I know I simply could not live in a world without milk. I love the stuff. Chocolate, soy, whole or low-fat...it's all yummy goodness to me.
And those folks over at Got Milk have been telling us for years that milk makes your bones stronger and prevents osteoporosis. How could I forgo this beverage that is so delicious and has such healing powers? And that goes so well with a big slice of chocolate cake or a few Oreos?
I really do think I could do it without vomiting, but I had to admit defeat before the challenge even began. I've decided that my love of dares is just not strong enough to transcend my love of milk. And for that reason, I cannot take on the great milk challenge at this time.
But if anyone does, let me know it goes, kay?
For now, I hang my head in shame, but mark my words: One day, after possibly years of rigorous training and milk drinking, I will do this. And I will win.
Maybe I'll even make a documentary out of it called The Day Jesus Stole My Stomach Lining and Beat Me to Death With It. You'll have to come out and support my film, kay?
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 4:27 PM
2 Comments:
You know, it's probably pretty hard to drink a gallon of ANYTHING within an hour. The stomach, for most people, probably isn't big enough to fit a gallon...hence the outward expulsion of liquid. It's gotta be a more physiological thing than a psychology thing. But that's just my $0.02.
I wonder what would happen if a lactose intolerant person like me would do it... I'm not even going to try because I don't like milk anyway :)
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