Epiphany
You know what? It totally just hit me...I don't like him very much as a person.
I realized this as I was reading something he wrote and LAUGHING. Laughing in annoyance, and in glee. In pure joyous, unadulterated glee that I have escaped him.
I am through. I am free.
He can "wish the best" for me all he wants. He said he wishes me "nothing but happiness."
Well, I'd like to say thank you to him. He's given that happiness to me now.
Thank you to him for being the person that he is. For teaching me what I don't want in a mate, and in a friend. For loving me and then letting me go. For making me angry. Making me know my mind. Making me experience the lowest lows and making me get through them on my own.
I'm happier now than I ever was with him.
And that? Is hysterical.
I wonder if he thinks we'll be friends in the future. I'm stating this right now: We won't be.
It's impossible now. Too much has happened, too much has been said. And, as I mentioned, I don't really like who he is anymore. The blinders have been lifted.
I just did something amazing. I went into my mailbox and deleted the last positive remnant of our relationship I have.
It's an e-mail from the month before we broke up, an e-mail where he calls me "beautiful, thoughtful, wholesome, intelligent, supportive, respectful, understanding, fun and gorgeous." An e-mail where "Every day I spend with you is more fulfilling than the last." An e-mail where he loves me.
I deleted it, then went into my "Deleted Items" folder and deleted it again.
The box popped up: "Are you sure you want to permanently delete the selected item?" FUCK YES.
And click. Gone. Metaphorical, isn't it?
When I relayed this whole recent saga to my sister, all she said was, "You know, it's all just kind of funny."
And I agree. It's all very freakin' funny.
HAHAHAHAHA. I win.
PS: Please shoot me if I devote another post to this. I'm done.
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 1:11 PM
2 Comments:
This is the picture I have in my mind of your deleting those messages over and over in your mailbox:
Gun pointing at him, you say: DIE! BAM! First bullet goes off.
Are you sure you want to shoot me, honey?
DIE! BAM! Second bullet goes off.
Are you really sure you want to shoot me, baby? I'll be gone forever, you know.
BAM! Final bullet goes off.
Lo and behold, he's finally dead.
And if you mention his name one more time in your blog, it'll be your turn. HAHAHAHA! (just kidding, of course)
:D Cinthia nailed it!
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