Follow Me Down
I've just now started to notice that relationships have a way of following me around. Even in the simplest ways, they have changed me. And those changes have stuck.My most recent ex, for example, got me hooked on nice cars. Before meeting him, I knew nothing about cars and couldn't care less what type I actually drove.
Now? I'm a total car snob. I can't drive a Civic or a Corolla, because that's what everyone drives. And I'm totally into performance and aftermarket parts: turbos, special exhausts, big rims, chrome, ground effects. You get the picture. I've spent well over $1,000 just adding options onto my own car.
It's the same way with nice speakers and bass. Yeah, I may think "systems" are kind of silly, but thanks to him, I have an appreciation for the stuff. If I could only justify spending the money, I'd probably put a small system in my car...and then crank up the bass to one of those rap songs he got me hooked on.
And what about Canada (his birthplace)? I was indifferent toward it before, but I love the country now. It brings back memories of relaxing vacations, beautiful countryside, and kind people. I'll gladly go back someday. I laugh at all the Canadian jokes (especially those Molson beer commercials) and I still resist the urge to say "aboot" instead of "about."
Those are the positive things, but there have been negative impacts too.
He made me hate PDA (public displays of affection), because he was always trying to touch me and kiss me in public. After a while, I barely even tolerated holding hands. And now? I'm still pretty against all of that. Maybe it will take the right person to reverse the trend.
It's quite astounding what an unhappy relationship can do to a person. Not only did I hate PDA, but I started not to even like kissing. Toward the end, I guess I was so unhappy that any physical contact made me want to bolt. Scary, huh? I'm happy to say that I think I've been cured of that one now.
I wonder if I've had the same impact on him. Will he continue to drink soy milk and like vegetarian restaurants? Will he always love birds? Will he watch Laguna Beach and all those other shows I forced on him that I think he secretly kind of liked?
I know I tried his patience like no one ever has before. Will he keep his habit of exploding during a simple argument?
I know I drove him insane over what he ate. Will he continue to think twice before he binges a whole bag of chips or half a pizza?
I know I did a lot of things that changed who he is, that gave him new interests and new habits, and that gave his life a different meaning.
He did the same for me, and I'm still noticing those changes reverberating throughout everything I do.
I think I'll be noticing them for many years to come.
And surprisingly, I'm okay with that. As long as I can look back with closure instead of bitterness, appreciation instead of regret, I know I'll be just fine.
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 2:10 PM
3 Comments:
Just a hunch, but I'll bet you've had no effect on him at all. Most men get pretty stuck in their ways.
Gary: Shhh, I'd at least like to think I had somewhat of a positive impact on him, or just an impact on him in general. But...you are probably right.
Shmoo: Haha, that is AWESOME. Believe me, I still offend myself when a rap song comes on that I actually like. Those exes and their damn influence...
Roche: A fellow bird lover! I am the proud owner of a 13-year-old cockatiel. My ex fell completely in love with her and he now has two cockatiels of his own. I absolutely love conures, too. Birds are just very special animals. :-)
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