The Resurfacing
I've been back in the country for almost a week now, and this is the first time I've sat down to write. Like any writer, I'd thought about what I would write plenty of times--during the trip, on the airplane, in bed at night--but I just didn't have the urge to do anything about it until now.In truth, there is too much for me even to capture in words. I saw too many amazing things and experienced too many new and wonderful feelings. My trip to Europe was a completely overwhelming experience in all the right ways. A completely healthy exercise and--now that I look back on it--a completely mandatory part of my growth.
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've always been scared of new things and new places. I've never wanted to find my own way. My parents have always known this fear in me, and they worked diligently over the years to fight it by encouraging me--and often, pushing me--to do the things that scared me most. But being the stubborn girl I am, I always fought them right back, thinking of convenient excuses not to study abroad or take other risks of similar magnitude.
So, when my good friend asked me if I'd like to do this two-week trip with her, that familiar sense of fear kicked in. "Don't do it!" my fragile psyche screamed out at me. I all but capitulated to its selfish whims.
And then, in one of the most logical moments I've ever experienced when dealing with my own mind, I let the fear go.
I could not think of one single good reason why I shouldn't go on this trip. And the old standbys just didn't make sense anymore. Almost nothing would be worth missing this opportunity. I had finally reached a point in my life where I could take a risk and be perfectly fine with it.
As the airplane lifted off into the air on that Saturday three weeks ago, I felt serene and excited. I far over-packed for the two-week trip, but I felt confident knowing I had left the biggest obstacle of all back at home--my fear.
'Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.
~ Dexter Freebish
posted by Sleepy Girl @ 12:08 PM
4 Comments:
I am so glad you had such a positive experience.
I can never ever ever get enough of Europe. Ever. I went earlier this year and it was awesome.
It will never get old, and now that you've been I am sure you will want to go again!
Sharkbait: You're exactly right, I want to go back already! I was planning out where I'd go next on the plane ride home.
I know you've been talking bout leaving. You've lost all your feeling for this town.
Glad you had a good and safe trip.
Thanks for the warm welcomes, guys. It's good to be back home, but I definitely miss the excitement of travelling. And yeah, the weather here is OUT of control. Sauna indeed. Not that I expected anything different out of a DC summer, but STILL.
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